1) Maximize your singleness for God.
Accept that you’re in a season of life that affords some freedoms and benefits you will not have if and when you marry. It is a good season to finish yo...ur education, increase your theological knowledge, travel to serve in missions, give time to your church, work long hours to establish your career, and pay off any debt you may have accrued. In short, invest your single years in a way that they later pay a great return. Do not waste them.
2) Do not pursue a serious relationship until you are ready to marry.
There are many reasons why people should, for a season, devote their energies to something other than finding a spouse. Getting biblical counseling to overcome a habitual sin such as pornography or substance abuse, maturing as a Christian if they are a new or immature convert, or simply moving out of their parents’ home and taking on adult responsibilities are all good reasons to delay a serious relationship until a better season of life. Basically, until people are mature enough to marry, they should not be in a serious romantic relationship but should use their energies to mature.
3) Be reasonable.
Do not set your expectations too high or too low. If you set your expectations too low, you may marry and be miserable, having made the biggest mistake of your life. If you set your expectations too high, you may never marry, or you may marry the person you think you want but who may not be the one God would consider best for you. I discourage Christian singles from having too long a list of what they are looking for in a spouse. The truth is that most of these lists are simply idolatrous because they are comprised of the seekers’ resume and what they like and do, as if the goal of marriage is to find someone just like them rather than someone different from them so that together they can learn to love and serve one another. Few men are looking for a widowed, broke, and homeless gal from a family noted for incest who is a recent convert with a bitter mother-in-law in tow. But her name is Ruth, and Boaz was blessed to marry her, and through her came Jesus.
4) You should be in a romantic relationship with only one person at a time.
Ultimately, the goal of a Christian not called to singleness is not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but to have a spouse. It is cruel to date multiple people at one time, having them compete for your affections. Furthermore, it is better preparation for adultery than it is for a covenant marriage.
Article by: Tinashe Maruta
Praying is not always easy, but it is vitally important in our Christian walk. Likewise, if we want it in our relationship, we have to make a point to do it. Prayer won’t magically happen on its ...own. You have to take the time to discuss it with your boyfriend or girlfriend and establish a prayer routine you can stick to.
Wait! You might say,
Isn’t that risky? People say that praying together will cause us to stumble.”
I know I’ve heard it whispered around church circles. Older couples encourage “Keep your purity by not praying together.” I’ve even heard peers say, “If you pray together, you’ll grow too intimate spiritually and emotionally. You should just wait until you get married to do that.”
But something about that argument doesn’t seem right. We pray with church acquaintances, neighbors, friends, and sometimes even with complete strangers. But praying with our boyfriend/girlfriend is off limits? That doesn’t make sense. God encourages his children to pray together. “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42).
Before we marry, the person we are dating is our brother or sister in Christ. If praying at church with a group of acquaintances is okay, how can it be wrong to pray with the person who may one day be our spouse?
A dating/courting couple should be trying to discern whether they can serve God better together or apart. To figure this out, they need prayer—and lots of it! But how can a couple grow together spiritually if they do not pray together? How can a girl experience her boyfriend’s spiritual leadership if he never leads her in prayer?
If prayer is what holds marriages together, isn’t it a healthy habit to set up before marriage and even before engagement? We can’t expect to jump into a powerful prayer life once the pastor to says, “You may now kiss the bride.”
With that said, here are three ways to keep prayer pure:
1) Pray in a safe place. Praying alone in a room with the door shut and the lights dim with no one else around probably is not a good idea with any person of the opposite sex—especially with someone you’re in love with! Consider praying in a public area like a table at Starbucks, at mid-day in a busy park, or at home in the living room while there are others in the kitchen a few feet away. Or, think about going on a prayer walk around the neighborhood.
2) Pray over the phone. Praying over the phone provides a physical boundary, yet allows you to connect at any time of the day. You can call and say, “Hey, I might have the opportunity at lunch today to share the gospel with my co-worker. Will you pray for me really quick?” You can lift each other up and encourage each other in brotherly love.
3) Pray with wisdom. Some of you may be a few years into your relationship, while others might be only three weeks into the relationship. Either way, it is important to remember that God may not call the two of you to marriage. For this reason we have to guard our hearts, even in prayer. So share prayer requests with discernment according to the state of your relationship. For example, an engaged couple will share more personal things than if a couple who has only been together for a few months. If you have difficulty figuring out if something would be appropriate to share, ask your parents, your pastor, or another strong Christian couple you know for advice. They will be happy to help.
"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful” (Colossians 4:2).
"Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:18).
